Too Many Guys

Okay, so we've figured out the problem in my dating /social life. It's not that I'm too picky. It's not that I'm too aloof or shy and appear unapproachable and snooty. It's not that I'm smart in a scary sort of way. It's very simply. I already have too many guys in my life.

My sister and I came to that conclusion yesterday afternoon as my nephew was enjoying his new game ~ knock guys off Nenn-nenn's lap and make them go boom! Yes, my nephew is the source of all the guys. It's what he calls all of his Fisher Price Little People and all of his stuffed animals. There were certain rules to the make guys go boom game that were announced throughout ~ Nenn-nenn NO touch guys!! Nenn-nenn NO play with guys!! (Suddenly my social life is making complete sense....) Of course there also had to be a few ground rules and life lessons that Nenn-nenn added to the game. Such as the fact that while it was fine to knock guys off of Nenn-nenn's lap and make them go boom, the same wasn't true for other things, like say, baby brothers.

But back to my nephew and his guys... He has this crazy sixth sense about them, like knowing where each individual one is at all times. He keeps all the furry and stuffed ones (including my sister's sizable Wee Bear collection which he pilfered at first sight) in his bed, but knows immediately when he enters his room if one of them is downstairs. Many are the evenings my sister and I have run around the living room searching for some "star" "mommy" or "soldier" bear before he will even consider going to bed. He's also taken to putting his Little People guys in time outs in the kitchen. We all struggle to consider what the particular group that was still in the kitchen late last night (having been there since early that morning) could have possibly done to receive such a harsh punishment.

As for the reality of life with my nephew, it really is killing my social life. His favorite thing now is to be naked and will strip any time the opportunity presents itself and run around the house to make it as difficult to dress him again as possible. The truth is, I am really sick of seeing penises and have zero interest in seeing any other ones right now.