Thursday, January 12, 2006

A Note on "Compact" Cars

I've just started a new job. I know, very exciting. But before I go into any of the exciting details of my new job and my new life, I need to vent a little.

At my new office we have a parking garage where a significant portion of the parking spaces are marked "compact cars only." Now, I understand that I now live in Texas and that the generally accepted definition of "compact" is the difference between an F-350 and an F-150, but unfortunately, civil engineers prefer to go with the other definition of compact. So let me try to help y'all out a little here.

Compact cars are typically foreign (although not always), they have no towing capacity, they frequently have a two-door and/or hatch back option, people over six feet tall generally avoid sitting in the back seat and they are absolutely worthless in any kind of farming or ranching operation. A few guidelines: if your vehicle is an SUV, not a compact; Having "mini" as the first part of your vehicle's title only counts if the second part is "cooper", generally speaking, the whole "van" thing negates the "mini"; if your vehicle has four wheels on the rear axle, not compact; if you get to pay the lower registration fee because your vehicle weighs at least half a ton or qualifies as a farm vehicile, not a compact; and going back to the towing capacity rule, if you've got towing capacity, not a compact. And for those of you needing special attention: Ford Exposition, anything made by Lincoln or Cadillac, not a compact!

Friday, January 06, 2006

Apparently you didn't escape Virginia soon enough....

Your Linguistic Profile::
45% General American English
40% Yankee
5% Dixie
5% Upper Midwestern
0% Midwestern

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The goat

I'm on the road to my new "home" (also known as my sister's guest room) and my father and I are driving the 1500 miles from my house to her house in my Civic Hybrid. The movers cames two days ago to empty my house ~ it seems like a lifetime ago. And we finished cleaning and cramming other things into the tiny little trunk of my car. I actually packed the car, in the pouring rain. I got so soaked that I needed to get my bag out of the car and change clothes before we could head off.

The first night was a nightmare. We left later than planned. I hadn't gotten ANY sleep in days and driving over Afton Mountain in a storm is a nightmare and a half ~ add to that the gas light going on and my tank indicator reaching empty for the time ever ~ I was convinced the car would die and we would be stuck on Afton Mt in the middle of the storm, well after dark ~ Happy New Year!!

Obviously we made it. Night two was in Memphis and tonight we're in Little Rock. I have officially driven through every major city in Tennessee, not that it was ever a particular goal of mine, but I have now done it!!!

There is a point to all this, a goat in fact. While we've been driving (my father actually has taken the wheel since my near nervous breakdown on Afton Mt) I've been taking advantage of Verizon's free cell to cell minutes. Nearly the entire family has Verizon so we're really getting our money's worth. I think this story is probably funnier if my Dad were to tell it since hearing just the one side of the conversation made it all that more "monty python-esque." But, he doesn't have a blog, so you're just going to have to live with my story.

Anyway, big adventures back in NH. There was a snow storm overnight, not a big deal, but when my mom looked out the window, she saw fresh footprints leading around my parents' house. She went to look out the front and there are fresh tire tracks in the driveway and foot prints leading to the back of the house. My mom goes down to the basement to make sure no one has broken in through the window in the back yard or anything, but nothing is disturbed in the basement. Now after conferring with several neighbors, she decides to call the police, not the emergency number, the other one, to report suspicious activity. So a little bit later, a cruiser pulls into the driveway and two officers get out. It turns out the tracks were left by the police. There was a break-in at the 7 Eleven down at the end of the street the preceding night, by a goat, and the police caught up with the goat in my parents' yard and chased him around the house where he escaped into the woods.

Yes, you read correctly. A goat broke into the 7 Eleven. And no, the police department of my hometown was unable to capture it. But aparrently it was no ordinary goat (not that the breaking and entering would have in any way tipped you off to that) It is an enormous white horned goat. (My father later provided more of his infamous animal expertise to mention that all goats have horns, both male and female.)

I'm sure there will be more to this story.....