Perspective

It's funny the way you think you know what's important in your life. You get wrapped up so easily in these minute details that seem huge. Like my job. We have this grant due in to the Feds and at the same time we're reviewing grant proposals and renewals for small grants to localities that we provide with moneys from this large federal grant. The stress level is unreal. I have multiple deadlines and these seriously twisted statistics that I need to produce and have all the appropriate documentation for ~ apparently the auditors for this grant make the IRS look like the girl scouts. And OMG! It's $40 million!! Get your mind around that!!! I've actually developed a gag or at least nausea response to everything involving this grant. Seriously. And I'm not one to have physiological reactions to work, or at least not gastrointestinal ones. I'm more of a tight neck, tension head ache type of person.

In the midst of all this tightly scheduled reviewing and grant writing there are of course a whole bunch of out of state meetings and conferences that people have to attend. I've begun to believe that HHS and CDC do this on purpose, the scheduling, just to see us squirm a little bit more. It's their sadistic side showing. Maybe they came from state programs and they feel the need to continue in the hazing tradition or maybe they just like having that kind of control over us. (JUMP!! How high?)

But back to perspective. My mother called about half an hour ago. My uncle Billy is having a heart attack. He's all alone out in upstate New York ~ we don't even have the names and phone numbers of any of his friends. He called my mom and my aunt while he was waiting for the ambulance to come and take him to the hospital. We don't even know which hospital. He lives 6 hours away from my parents and they are the closest relatives to him.

So we got on the computer and got the phone numbers for the hospitals in his city and the fire department where his ambulance came from and the bar he hangs out at and the rectory of the church he attends mass at religiously ~ my mom is working the phone. But we're all just waiting. He should be okay. He's turning 60 in a few weeks and he's been pretty healthy thus far, no diabetes or hypertension. He should be fine.

Right now, I'm just realizing how ridiculous my stress over this grant is/was. It's not like it's life or death for anyone. It's a funny thing, perspective.