Monday, February 14, 2005

Valentines Day 2005

Why on earth would someone ever create such a horrid holiday?

I am having a ridiculously weird day. I hate Valentine's Day, but I've matured out of wearing all black for the occasion. I'm actually wearing something pink! (rose quartz, to be catalog-colors-that-don't-even-exist-in-Crayola exact) I think it brings out the uneven skin tone in my face, verifying the fact that I didn't wear any foundation today. It's a good look for me. Did I mention weird day?

I came into the office and the receptionist is all apologetic and please don't be upset with me. I'm expecting some new ridiculous policy that the evil people I report to have once again made her deliver to me. I'm thinking, I don't know, I have to wear skirts from now ~ no more slacks ~ and I should understand, being the professional that I am. (Yes, they use that word to the effect of fingernails on a chalk board.) But no, she wants to apologize for accidentally opening my mail. It's just a photocopied article from a colleague with a note "Happy reading!"

It's actually an article about a smallpox outbreak in a Midwestern town around the turn of the century and all the political and social fallout that occurred as a result of quarantine and isolation orders. Happy reading, indeed!

So why, you ask, is the receptionist terrified of me? Let's just say everyone around here is afraid of everyone else these days. Ridiculous new policies appear everyday, some for everyone, some for just a select few. I am one of the lucky ones who gets special attention, at least some of the time. What's sad to say is that we all breath a sigh of relief when we see someone else getting the "special attention" because it means we're safe for a few hours. We can't question the authority, as it is absolute. I went to Human Resources to discuss the situation, to point out the mass exodus that was going on and the strange fact that those leaving seemed to have something in common (skin color, anyone?). They talked to the director about it and I got my hands slapped for going to Human Resources. Oops. My bad. Won't make that mistake again. Make no mistake, if a white administration was doing this to black employees, the NAACP would come crashing in here like a bulldozer. I guess, when this happens to white people it's just considered restitution.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

I heart spam, NOT

So I seem to have gotten on the mailing list for "sexually explicit daily". I kid you not, it really does exist!! And it's not like it's my yahoo account or my gmail ~ oh, no, it's my work account!! And all those great filters that prevent me from getting any email that uses the term arboviral (as in an infectious disease passed by mosquito) do nothing to block sexually explicit daily, what's that about?

But my curiousity does get the better of me. (NO, I haven't clicked the links or anything, didn't I mention the *work* computer bit and I really don't want to encourage the spammers.) It's the descriptions of what they're trying to draw you to that I adore. You expect the cheating housewives and the naughty school girls, but the grandmothers and other senior citizens gave me a good laugh.

Even my cat isn't immune to spam. Alright, entirely my fault. I was wondering about the validity of those "free iPod" banner ads, so I clicked on one. I didn't want to use my own name, so I used my cat's. I did, however use my yahoo email account. I've had in excess of 100 messages in my spam box since then ~ most of them addressing my cat by name in the title and offering her some great deal. If only my cat had a mortgage to refinance...

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

I heart 24!

I watched the first season of 24 and was relatively enthralled, but got a bit bogged down by all the awful stuff the kept happening to Mrs. Jack and their daughter, Kim. (They just got back together! She was pregnant too! So then they killed her???!)

Anyway, I half heartedly watched season 2 and completely avoided season 3, but when season 4 started with a bang ~ 4 hours on two consecutive nights ~ I couldn't help myself! And what's not to love?? Edgar, the self-esteem-challenged bumbling, mumbling computer geek who's looking like a hero! Madeline from La Femme Nikita back in command of her own little black ops cell! William Devane NOT getting smoochy with anyone. (I've probably just shot myself in the foot on that one ~ he'll probably start some red hot affair with Sarah next week...) And don't even get me started on Behrooz and Dina!! Yes, yes, yes, it's a horrible depiction of Arab Americans. But keep this in mind ~ Dina is willing to risk everything, EVERYTHING, for her son who has realized that he just doesn't believe in this cause. Sure, she seemed cold and calculated when she served the imfamous tea to Debbie (who was a wee bit stalker-ish, if we're all honest with ourselves), but now as she stoicly perseveres with a gunshot wound to save her Behrooz, she's just not so cold. And as far as Behrooz killing Tariq ~ of course, his father didn't believe him!! No father of the year award for him! And I think he can forget getting a father's day card as well...

I can't just leave this without throwing in some predictions. And these are just off the top of my head, since I have no connection to anyone even remotely involved with the show. I think Chloe and Andrew are involved. Why? She seemed awfully concerned about his well being (to the point of threatening Jack ~ like that's gonna happen!) and just the fact that Andrew knew her direct line at work pointed to the fact that they were more than just "old classmates." Audrey's husband is up to no good. As much as I want to believe he is as wonderful as Forney, the character James Frain played in Where the Heart Is, I'm just not getting that. And while we're talking about the extended family of the Secretary of Defense, the son, Richard, does have something that he's hiding, of a very personal nature. He kind of alluded to that with his father, but never gave it up under torture. Perhaps he and Tariq were lovers??

Since I'm not the only one getting a laught out of 24, here's something from the Washington Post!

Monday, February 07, 2005

Care bears on the Ark

My nephew turned one just two weeks ago. He's truly an exceptional child and I'm not just saying that because I'm his aunt or because most of the relatives say he reminds them of me. He has a vocabulary that would astound you. He says the regular Hi, Mama, Dada, no (no, no, no, no), yeah, kind of stuff ~ but he also says tank ooh, baby (or bayBEE or BAYbee as there are several different meanings for this word), buh-bye, oof-oof, mao-mao, brown bear (the kid's an Eric Carle fan!), baa (bath, not the sound a sheep makes, thats ba ba), boo (book) and I'm sure there's other stuff that I'm forgetting.

I couldn't be at his first birthday party since he lives on the other side of the country, but I did leave his birthday present when I visiting for Christmas. I got him the Fisher Price Little People Noah's Ark. Now I could go on and on about how different Little People are since my childhood ~ beginning with the not-s-much-a-chocking-hazard aspect ~ but I won't get into it. My nephew loves the 'raffes and the lions (he roars). He keeps asking my sister what sound the giraffes make and she bluffs "munch munch" or "nibble nibble", but he won't have any of it. You're not pulling that kind of crap over on a guy whose "baba" (what he calls all his grandparents) taught him the actual sound a zebra makes. Yes, that would be my father. Apparently, if you ever watch documentaries on wildabeasts (which I apparently can't even spell!!) you would hear lots of zebra noises. Um, okay.

His birthday cake was decorated with two little care bears which match nicely with the little animals from the ark, so there they reside. It's become quite the topic of conversation between the adults in the family. Consider, for example, if the care bears were to have survived the great flood, there would have needed to have been two of them aboard Noah's ark, right? I mean, you can argue the historical accuracy of care bears on the ark, but you can't even definitively prove the historical accuracy of the ark itself. So it's really a toss up! If my nephew stays in the state where he currently lives, he will no doubt be learning about creationism and perhaps even the ark in his biology classes. I like to think I've done my part to make that job a little more difficult for whoever attempts to cover those topics with him.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Watching the state....

So I can't actually bring myself to watch the state of the union address. It all seems a little too pep-rally-ish too, what with all the applause and standing ovations ~ just without the congress sitting in areas marked "class of --" I suppose that really wouldn't work considering they just don't know when their constiuency is going to send them packing back home.

I have a friend who likes to get her video from network television and her audio from NPR. Apparently they're a fraction of a second or so off giving the appearance that the president is poorly dubbed from some other language. She says it keeps things interesting.

The constitution says that "from time to time" the president will brief congress on the state of the union, so I'm wondering exactly how it became an annual thing? I guess it could be worse ~ a monthly state of the union??? If that were the case, I'm not seeing the network executives giving up a night of primetime once a month even for a president they adore, especially not during sweeps!! Then maybe they would rotate it ~ an idea I think they should serious consider. It's not like every network gets to show the Olympics or the World Series or the Superbowl!! Maybe if they bid on it, it would mix things up a bit? Could you imagine if there were commercial time slots for the state of the union that commanded the same kind of interest as the super bowl commercials? How about a little half time show? Then I'd watch!

State of the Union?

So I've been wondering, as I often do. With all the concern about the FCC and live television broadcasts, do you suppose they'll be televising the State of the Union on a 3-5 second delay? I mean, I realize the likelihood of a wardrobe malfunction is miniscule, but you really never know when W is gonna abandon the teleprompter and drop the F-bomb.