The best way to discourage risky behavior is to take away the safety net...

This is a quote from this morning's Times describing the Bush administration's policy on birth control and family planning. What an interesting idea! And it has wonderful cost saving implications all over the place!

Let's get rid of dentists! Maybe people would floss as often as they're supposed to if they didn't have someone to bail them out!! And how about doctors and hospitals? Maybe we'd all finally start eating healthy and exercising, quit smoking, wash our hands, not eat raw oysters or do stupid things with power tools and sporting equipment if we knew there was no one there to take care us when we needed it.

And lets get rid of those rails on the side of the highways! Maybe people will be a little more careful about driving off the road if there's nothing there to prevent them from heading into oncoming traffic, going into a ditch or driving over a cliff. And by all means, get rid of bicycle helmets! Sure, studies have shown they prevent head and brain injuries, but studies, schmudies!! We're talking about discouraging behavior ~ no helmet, no fall off bike! And while we're talking about proven safety features? Seatbelts and baby seats? They only give people permission to drive more recklessly! Think how much more carefully new parents would drive if the newborn was just tossed in the trunk when they left the hospital?

And emergency exits ~ we should get rid of those too. If people knew there was no easy way out, they would be so much more careful about starting fires or having emergencies of any kind (think back to preventing clogged arteries and all that.) And what is 911 and emergency services but society condoning emergencies? By providing a fire department, we're saying it's okay to burn down your house, it's not your responsibility to prevent it or stop it. Maybe people would be more careful if they knew help wasn't just a phone call away. We should definitely take that away, it completely encourages risky behavior. It's an obvious conclusion.

Just like providing plan B over the counter would make American women into a bunch of hussies. (Mind you, it's all about the women because there are no men involved in unwanted pregnancies.) Doesn't it all make perfect sense?