a new dating plan

So I just spent an hour and a half talking on the phone with an old friend who I haven't really seen that much of in years. He's over in Europe and probably getting divorced and hopefully coming back to the U.S. So we were talking about relationships and how the utility of men has been decreasing over the years and how I've positioned myself to not really need a man and exactly what utility he's capable of providing and how one would go about demonstrating these attributes while dating. (His main utility, by the way, appears to be killing spiders!!)

Since I already own a house and inherited a very nice diamond engagement ring, I'm not looking for the usual matieralistic things. So, this is what he's come up with for me. On any given first date, I should arrive with a particularly tightly closed pickle jar and request assistance opening it. The second date should include a test of my date's ability to unload my dishwasher and take out my trash ~ it's very important that I grade form and not just functionality, since in the beginning just getting the job done may be satifactory, but 20 years down the road, technique is going to matter. The third date will include moving furniture and killing wasps (I have no problem killing spiders, but I'm allergic to insect stings) ~ it's important here to grade not the ability to take directions, but the instinct to already know what I want, again, 20 years down the road... I could go on, but I think that's enough for now....