A Note on "Compact" Cars

I've just started a new job. I know, very exciting. But before I go into any of the exciting details of my new job and my new life, I need to vent a little.

At my new office we have a parking garage where a significant portion of the parking spaces are marked "compact cars only." Now, I understand that I now live in Texas and that the generally accepted definition of "compact" is the difference between an F-350 and an F-150, but unfortunately, civil engineers prefer to go with the other definition of compact. So let me try to help y'all out a little here.

Compact cars are typically foreign (although not always), they have no towing capacity, they frequently have a two-door and/or hatch back option, people over six feet tall generally avoid sitting in the back seat and they are absolutely worthless in any kind of farming or ranching operation. A few guidelines: if your vehicle is an SUV, not a compact; Having "mini" as the first part of your vehicle's title only counts if the second part is "cooper", generally speaking, the whole "van" thing negates the "mini"; if your vehicle has four wheels on the rear axle, not compact; if you get to pay the lower registration fee because your vehicle weighs at least half a ton or qualifies as a farm vehicile, not a compact; and going back to the towing capacity rule, if you've got towing capacity, not a compact. And for those of you needing special attention: Ford Exposition, anything made by Lincoln or Cadillac, not a compact!