You can check out Monica's blog by clicking on the squirrel button. Sorry for the serious plagiarism, but I just loved this list!!! (besides, cut and paste exist for a reason...)
» 40 Things That You'd Like to Say Out Loud At Work:
1- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s*%$
2- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce
3- How about never? Is never good for you?
4- I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public
5- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way
6- I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter
7- I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message
8- I don't work here. I'm a consultant
9- It sounds like English, but I can't understand a d#@% word you're saying
10- Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again
11- I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid
12- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers
13- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a d!$@
14- I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth
15- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you
16- Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view
17- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist
18- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
19- What am I? Flypaper for freaks???
20- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off
22- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial
23- And your crybaby whiny-a$$ opinion would be...?
24- Do I look like a people person?
25- This isn't an office. It's H@## with fluorescent lighting
26- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left
27- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer
28- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed
30- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed
31- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality
32- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door
33- Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34- Too many freaks, not enough circuses
35- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36- Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done
37- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a salary
39- Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40- Oh, I get it...like humor...but different...
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